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When it comes to humor, what rules? You might be surprised that more people view newspaper and Internet cartoons than all the funny movies, sitcoms, late night shows, and stand-up comedians put together.

In this “rat-race in which we live” which is referred to as planet earth, many simply do not have time to get their “humor fix” within a thirty minute or hour period. If you really think about it, even when listening to a joke, these days, in person, if it goes beyond half a minute, you are out in search of real humor, or at least not paying a lot of attention to someone who finds themselves funny, yet nobody else does.

Cartoons tell the whole story fast, and a good cartoon tells it faster and funnier than a bad one. and, it may take a few more seconds for the reader to “get it”, based on their own “laughter quotient”, but it can be quite satisfying, and does the trick. Even modern medicine agrees that surrounding oneself with good cartoon humor can boost the immune system, as laughter releases endorphins that help protect it.

I am not saying to quit viewing the greats such as Jay Leno, Jon Stewart, old sitcoms on Nickelodeon, or reruns of Frazier or Seinfeld. They are all very funny, to me, and many others, and I have to see a film in the genre of “Being There”, “Analyze That” or even a Michael Myers delicacy every so often. But one must plan time for that. Not so with a good newspaper or Internet cartoon.

We live in a society with both joys and disappointments daily, it is nice, no pertinent to have a quick humor fix. No other venue can do that like a cartoon, specifically a single panel cartoon, which, if not wordy, satiates me in a way I love to have my belly-laugh fix.

Here is my review of some of my favorite single-panel cartoons in the order of which I think they satisfy and/or are the funniest. Of course all humor is subjective, so you may have another take on it. In any case, these are my top 6 choices. Londons Times Cartoons is one you might want to bookmark as there are over 8000 cartoons by Rick London and they are funny. Off TheMark by Mark Parisi also has a large inventory but not quite the size as Londons Times. Londons Times are 99% in color, which makes them even more appealing.

1. Londons Times Cartoons 2. Speed Bump 3. Rubes 4. Off The Mark 5. Dr. Fun 6. Strange Brew

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Preparing your tax return is enough to make just about any one of us weep like young children. The tax code is insanely complex. Before you begin, print this out and read it when you are getting stressed out. A good laugh can make a big difference.

The IRS! They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld

The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power. - James Bovard

When You Do a Good Deed, Get a Receipt, in Case Heaven Is Like the IRS.

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush’s tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq. - Conan O’Brien

Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids. - Harvey Mackay

If a person is an economic being and figures out the odds, then there is a very high incentive to cheat. That is, of course, putting aside honor, duty and patriotism. - Jerome Kurtz, former Commissioner, Internal Revenue Service

In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Called in for an audit, Mr. Briggs was confronted by a surly IRS agent. “It says here, Mr. Briggs, that you are a bachelor; yet you claim a dependent son. Surely this must be a mistake.” Looking him straight in the eye, Mr. Briggs replied, “Yup, it surely was.”

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before. - Art Buchwald

When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so. - Billy Joel

I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes. - Mick Jagger

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F. J. Raymond

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf. - Will Rogers

If we don’t do something to simplify the tax system, we’re going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents. - Leon Panetta

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A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’

‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked:
‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’

‘A nickel,’ the barman replied.

‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man.
‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’

The bartender replied:
‘Upstairs, with my wife.’

The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?’

The bartender replied:
‘The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.’

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly: ‘I have something I must confess.’

‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied.

‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I want to die in peace.

I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!’

‘I know,’ she replied, ‘now just rest and let the poison work.’

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‘Hurry,’ she said, ’stand in the corner.’ 

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said, ‘pretend you’re a statue.’

‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room.

‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied, ‘the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

‘Here,’ he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.’

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A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.

Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.’

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home 

‘I have something to show you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead!’

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A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?’

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

‘Not this time!’

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A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM .
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.

‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.
‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied,
‘I’m having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.’

She looked down at his shoes and said:
‘You lying bastard!
You’ve been playing golf!’

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It was July 16, 1954. I was just washed from exiting my mom’s womb. “Congratulations, Ms. London,” I used to joke that the OB/GYN told my mom, “It’s a Realtor”. My parents owned a very old real estate stable family real estate company and were from a generation where, if and when an offspring arrived, especially a male, they were born to be bred shaped and molded into that genetically-inherited business. I tried it a few years. It was disastrous.

I was born in the tiny hamlet of Hattiesburg, Ms. I was not aware of these southern traditional family values, and, as I became more aware of my environment around me, I was certain I wanted to have something to do with humor as I grew older. How did I know this? It was all common sense. Try working for your conservative Realtor dad for five years. You will know. And you’ll know way before you finally have the nerve to “retire” in that five year period.

I can remember being grounded, in trouble, about to get in trouble, or locked in my room with no going out with friends for some wrong-doing (never violent or terrible); just pulling pranks since I was very small.

Rarely do I remember my parents smiling and being happy around me except when they had friends over on weekends and were playing record albums by such comedy greats as Don Rickles, Tom Lehrer, Jack Benny, and the like. I introduced them to The Smothers Brothers as a teen, thinking I would earn brownie points but again given the pink slip for “developing radical taste in hum

Stand-up in New York City. Keep in mind this was straight off the farm from Mississippi to the Big Apple. I won’t “even go there” as to how awful I was. It was sort of like Dan Quayle in his memorable v.p. debate, but more like me debating, say, Steve Martin and my comparing myself to Lenny Bruce. Steve to me: “Mr. London, Lenny Bruce was a friend of mine, and you, sir, are no Lenny Bruce.” I won’t bore you with the gory details.

Around 1996 or so I became interested in humor writing, and was planning a book but decided on forming a group of artists and creating a cartoon instead. All of us were surprised when Londons Times Cartoons shot to the top of the Internet rating charts.

By the time I reached 50, after a lengthy illness, I decided to start opening stores, selling products with my cartoon images which now amount to over 8500 in number and our counter shows over 8 million visitors since 2005 (though we started in 1997). And to imagine a manufacturer is producing 85,000 of our licensed gifts and collectibles and selling them everywhere from our main superstore site to Ebay to Shop.com. It’s all like a dream. If it can happen to this would-be Realtor, it can happen to any misfit.

Starting a cartoon is not an easy task, but an interesting and educational one. No matter what branch of humor in which one may find their niche, it is a growth experience and a process.

If it is in your blood, you will know it, and no matter what you were “born to be”, will not matter. It will have to come out in some way, shape, or form. Educate yourself, hang out with others who have blazed the trail, learn all you can.and just do it.

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Since my Valentine got a computer,
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important,
Unless it’s a byte or a bit.

Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can’t talk
Unless we both go online.

“But honey,” I said, “I’m attached to you;
Love is what I feel.”
“That keyword isn’t relevant,”
She said, with eyes of steel.

She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:

“Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU.”

“Don’t flame me, my sweet,” I pleaded.
“Not on Valentine’s Day.”
“Fix the bugs, and I’ll see,” she said,
While looking at me with dismay.

“What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I’ll upload or download anything,
And then I’ll go install it.”

(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don’t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I’ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)

“Are you all hard drive now,” I asked;
“Is there no software in you?
Don’t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through.”

“LOL,” she said to me, chuckling.
“You’re nothing but adware.
I’ve got a gig of memory;
I’ve got no problem there.”

“Please, honey, we can save it,” I said.
“Our love means more than that.”
“That’s not in my cache; we’re going to crash,”
She said, as she turned me down flat.

(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I’m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)

“Aw, honey, don’t talk like that,” I said.
“Can’t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I’m yours, my love, come what may.

“My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.

“If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I’m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me.”

“If you want to get into my favorites,” she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription.

“First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it’s done.
I’ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you’re the one.”

My life has become quite a trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I’ll have to reboot her.

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People are the dichotomy of dichotomies. We are very different and very alike in so many ways. I can’t think of anthing can bring us closer together than a cute puppy or kitty. They seem to have a special spirit in which we all share the same care.

I have owned dogs and cats since I was six years old. I am now 53. My feelings about them have not changed. Like young children, they teach me about unconditional love, something that is often lost in the hustle and bustle world in which we live. They bring me back to basics.

I am in the cartoon and online humor gift business. I have dedicated a majority of my work to the animal kingdom; particularly dogs and cats. Though there are many topics with which I deal, from science to relationships, my dog, cat, and other animal ones are the ones I cherish the most and our fans tend to agree.

My firm manufactures products such as cartoon hoodies, women’s and kids tees and tops, aprons, hoodies, tote bags, and other casual wear featuring cartoons. Again, my favorite are dog and cat comic gifts.

I put aside a percentage of all sales from those products to benefit various animal causes. At first, I thought it would be a good incentive for other animal lovers to purchase my products so I could help animals at shelters and others in trouble. Though that is happening, I am also receiving orders for pet-related cartoon products from people who have never even owned an animal.

Some customers just feel the products to be unique gifts with funny cartoons on them. But I’ve received emails from a number of clients who simply express that they want to help a good cause. If this does not renew one’s faith in the human race, I am not sure what will. Animals have nothing to give back (materially) but unconditional love, one of the most valuable, if not the most valuable asset one possess.

Please experience the uncondional love of a pet, I suggest to visit your local shelter today. We all have done things in our lives of which we are not proud, possibly regret. I assure you this will not be one of them. It will change your life in such a positive way, words cannot come close to telling the full story of how your life will change so dramatically.

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