Humorous Thoughts on the IRS and Taxes
Preparing your tax return is enough to make just about any one of us weep like young children. The tax code is insanely complex. Before you begin, print this out and read it when you are getting stressed out. A good laugh can make a big difference.
The IRS! They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld
The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power. - James Bovard
When You Do a Good Deed, Get a Receipt, in Case Heaven Is Like the IRS.
Earlier today, the White House released President Bush’s tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq. - Conan O’Brien
Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids. - Harvey Mackay
If a person is an economic being and figures out the odds, then there is a very high incentive to cheat. That is, of course, putting aside honor, duty and patriotism. - Jerome Kurtz, former Commissioner, Internal Revenue Service
In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire
Called in for an audit, Mr. Briggs was confronted by a surly IRS agent. “It says here, Mr. Briggs, that you are a bachelor; yet you claim a dependent son. Surely this must be a mistake.” Looking him straight in the eye, Mr. Briggs replied, “Yup, it surely was.”
Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before. - Art Buchwald
When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?
Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so. - Billy Joel
I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes. - Mick Jagger
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F. J. Raymond
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf. - Will Rogers
If we don’t do something to simplify the tax system, we’re going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents. - Leon Panetta
Tags: Jokes