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Have you tried to express your mood or feelings online? Sometimes it is easier using a smiley or emoticon. With these small icons you can convey new meaning to your forum posts, emails and website content.

A smiley is a great way to make both you, and the person who you are sending the smiley to, feel happy. It is hard to look at a goofy graphic and not feel that tug at the corner of your lips because you just want to smile when you see one!

There are times when words just wont do. A smiley or computer graphic can be the best solution to letting someone know how you feel. Sending hearts or a teddy bear hug graphic is a sure way to let your crush know youre interested.

Another great thing about communicating with emoticons is that you do not risk face to face embarrassment. In the rare case that your crush does not return your feelings (how could she not?), you can save face. If all else fails, you can pretend you hit the wrong button!

There are tons of sites on the Internet that offer smileys and other graphics for free. One of the best places to get these is smileyCentral. They offer over 10,000 different graphics for free. The best part is that these graphics are unique and will not be found anywhere else.

SmileyCentral supports all the popular email and messaging software. You will find specific graphics for use on AIM, MSN IM, Yahoo! IM, ICQ, and Outlook Express. Other places on the web often offer a very small selection of smileys for specific programs; at SmileyCentral there are many to choose from.

SmileyCentral is easy to use. You download a smiley toolbar which is automatically updated with new computer graphics. This way you can search for that special graphic you have been looking for whenever you like.

If you have not tried using a smiley or emoticon, starting is easy and fun. Everyday thousands of new graphics are added at SmileyCentral. Why not begin jazzing up your online communication today; let people know how you feel.

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Tattoos are a never-ending topic of conversation. Here are 10 incredible and surprising quotations from world famous people about this fascinating subject.

From Angelina Jolie: “I dropped my pants in a tattoo parlor in Amsterdam. I woke up in a waterbed with this funky-looking dragon with a blue tongue on my hip. I realized I made a mistake, so a few months later I got a cross to cover it. When my pants hang low, it looks like I’m wearing a dagger!”

Anna Nicole Smith: “I got my first tattoo, a Playboy Bunny, because I was young, dumb and drunk!”

“White folks are not going to come see a bunch of guys with tattoos, with cornrows. I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks different, they’re stupid!” Charles Barkley

“Sometimes I bust out and do things permanentlike tattoos and marriage” Drew Barrymore

“For someone who likes tattoos, the most precious thing is bare skin” Cher

Nicolas Cage: About his tattoo “it’s kind a show biz lizard. Tattoos to me are the outward symbol of the inward change within my sole.”

“I chose a sunflower because when darkness descends they close up to regenerate.” Halle Berry

“My skin is my canvas. I look at my skin as something of a living diary because all my tattoos represent a time in my life. I never wish to shut the door on my past so I carry it all with me.” Dave Navarro

From Megan Fox: “Every time I get a tattoo, it’s a little fuck-you to anyone who tells my not to.”

“Show me a man with a tattoo and I’ll show you a man with an interesting past.” Jack London (1883)

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Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called ‘Beer’.

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ’something bad’ occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’. In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this ‘Beer’ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can dis cuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up ‘Golf Courses’ in the phone book.

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Newspaper or Internet cartoons might save your life or build your immune system at least, that is the thinking of many progressive doctors and psychologists.

Dr. Bernie Siegel is but one, but there are so many others whose recommendation is to surround oneself with humor, whether it be cartoons, videos, magazines, or whatever else is available at the moment. Cartoons are usually readily available, especially on the Internet or newspapers. A funny cartoon can release endorphins immediately; the type of immune system-friendly ones that can, allegedly not only make you live longer, but healthier. In my own life, common sense tells me that if I was unable to utilize humor, life would be a bit drab. So would my health. I have recovered from some severe illnesses, a few that doctors said “I might not make it”, I think, only because of my sense of humor. I am certain their own potions helped as well, but without laughter and hope, faith can fade and fade fast.

Londons Times Cartoons was launched in 1997 after my mom died. I did not have a lot to start with, as far as financing, but had a lot of creative ideas, and was fortunate enough to build an illustrative and management team who knew what they were doing. When everything came together, from nothing, and it took a life of its own, and I was humbled and pleasantly surprised as were my colleagues.

It made me realize, maybe for the first time, at age 43, that if the common man or woman puts their mind to something, they can do it, regardless of social status, education, gender or race. It simply takes focus, a plan, and the guts to work the plan. When I say guts, I don’t mean at all that one is a hero for trying it. It is only that I have found in my lifetime, that dreams are “a dime a dozen”. Everyone has a book in them, a huge building, a creative venture, or some other dream. More often than not, it stays with them, in their heads, until the very end. To me, that is a tragedy.

Humans are made to achieve. It is in all of us waiting to come out, and often it takes the help of others. I will give you an example. Over the years, I had written literally thousands of cartoons. Though I could draw fairly well, not well enough to meet the standards of what I wanted in a cartoon. Thanks to the Internet, I found a way to recruit some of the best illustrators of cartoons on the Internet. They were willing to take on this project with me, still in its seed/dream stage, based on the quality of the concepts which would later become my comic collection.

By March of 1998, I had possibly 100 cartoons up on a free sub-domain. I could not even afford my own domain at the time. Pop-up ads ruled the site and visitors usually got angry and left as soon as they arrived. But I persisted. And I use that word because of how important it is. Persistence is probably as important, if not more important, than any other element of a creative project. Obstacles came and went. I developed a “damn the torpedos” philosophy, and kept my eyes on the prize. The number of naysayers far outweighed the supporters. It mattered not. I kept full steam ahead.

Because of my team’s persistence, within ten years, we built Londons Times Cartoons which attracts millions of annual visitors, and built 11 e-stores. We now have over 8000 color cartoons and almost 100,000 licensed image products that sell well. Our main website, Londons Times Cartoon has an eight million person following from Egypt to Canada.

I look back in amazement. I cannot believe it all happened in such a short time-span as a decade. But it did. And it did while I was disabled. I had been employed since age 12 and became disabled in my early forties due to depression and heart disease. During that time I also went back to school and finished three years in business. I am on break now, taking care of other health issues, and then plan to return to finish and work on my masters.

Like I said, think it, plan it, do it, and it is yours. It’s the American dream and it still exists.

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When it comes to humor, what rules? You might be surprised that more people view newspaper and Internet cartoons than all the funny movies, sitcoms, late night shows, and stand-up comedians put together.

In this “rat-race in which we live” which is referred to as planet earth, many simply do not have time to get their “humor fix” within a thirty minute or hour period. If you really think about it, even when listening to a joke, these days, in person, if it goes beyond half a minute, you are out in search of real humor, or at least not paying a lot of attention to someone who finds themselves funny, yet nobody else does.

Cartoons tell the whole story fast, and a good cartoon tells it faster and funnier than a bad one. and, it may take a few more seconds for the reader to “get it”, based on their own “laughter quotient”, but it can be quite satisfying, and does the trick. Even modern medicine agrees that surrounding oneself with good cartoon humor can boost the immune system, as laughter releases endorphins that help protect it.

I am not saying to quit viewing the greats such as Jay Leno, Jon Stewart, old sitcoms on Nickelodeon, or reruns of Frazier or Seinfeld. They are all very funny, to me, and many others, and I have to see a film in the genre of “Being There”, “Analyze That” or even a Michael Myers delicacy every so often. But one must plan time for that. Not so with a good newspaper or Internet cartoon.

We live in a society with both joys and disappointments daily, it is nice, no pertinent to have a quick humor fix. No other venue can do that like a cartoon, specifically a single panel cartoon, which, if not wordy, satiates me in a way I love to have my belly-laugh fix.

Here is my review of some of my favorite single-panel cartoons in the order of which I think they satisfy and/or are the funniest. Of course all humor is subjective, so you may have another take on it. In any case, these are my top 6 choices. Londons Times Cartoons is one you might want to bookmark as there are over 8000 cartoons by Rick London and they are funny. Off TheMark by Mark Parisi also has a large inventory but not quite the size as Londons Times. Londons Times are 99% in color, which makes them even more appealing.

1. Londons Times Cartoons 2. Speed Bump 3. Rubes 4. Off The Mark 5. Dr. Fun 6. Strange Brew

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Preparing your tax return is enough to make just about any one of us weep like young children. The tax code is insanely complex. Before you begin, print this out and read it when you are getting stressed out. A good laugh can make a big difference.

The IRS! They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld

The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power. - James Bovard

When You Do a Good Deed, Get a Receipt, in Case Heaven Is Like the IRS.

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush’s tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq. - Conan O’Brien

Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids. - Harvey Mackay

If a person is an economic being and figures out the odds, then there is a very high incentive to cheat. That is, of course, putting aside honor, duty and patriotism. - Jerome Kurtz, former Commissioner, Internal Revenue Service

In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Called in for an audit, Mr. Briggs was confronted by a surly IRS agent. “It says here, Mr. Briggs, that you are a bachelor; yet you claim a dependent son. Surely this must be a mistake.” Looking him straight in the eye, Mr. Briggs replied, “Yup, it surely was.”

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before. - Art Buchwald

When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so. - Billy Joel

I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes. - Mick Jagger

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F. J. Raymond

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf. - Will Rogers

If we don’t do something to simplify the tax system, we’re going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents. - Leon Panetta

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A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’

‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked:
‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’

‘A nickel,’ the barman replied.

‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man.
‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’

The bartender replied:
‘Upstairs, with my wife.’

The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?’

The bartender replied:
‘The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.’

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly: ‘I have something I must confess.’

‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied.

‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I want to die in peace.

I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!’

‘I know,’ she replied, ‘now just rest and let the poison work.’

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‘Hurry,’ she said, ’stand in the corner.’ 

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said, ‘pretend you’re a statue.’

‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room.

‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied, ‘the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

‘Here,’ he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.’

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A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.

Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.’

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home 

‘I have something to show you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead!’

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A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?’

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

‘Not this time!’

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